Text Box: Lutheran Jokes

You know you're Lutheran when…


10. The only meal time prayer you know is "Come Lord Jesus".


9. All of your casserole dishes have your name on the bottom.


8. They have to rope off the last few pews in church so the front isn't empty.


7. A midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.


6. You can't imagine a celebration without food.


5. While watching Star Wars you hear "May the force be with you" and you reply "And also with you".


4. You hear something really funny and smile as loud as you can.


3. You are at a funeral of a family member who is Catholic, and you are the only one who says "for Thine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory, forever and ever. Amen," after everyone else is done.


2. You sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down.


1. You arrive in church and start having a panic attack because someone else is sitting in your pew.


...you laugh out loud while reading this list, and relive your childhood at the same time.


Here is another list:


1. Lutherans believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.


2. Lutherans like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.


3. Lutherans believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.


4. Lutherans usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins.


5. Lutherans believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.


6. Lutherans feel that applauding for their children's choirs would make the kids too proud and conceited.


7. Lutherans think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.


8. Lutherans drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.


9. Some Lutherans still believe that an ELCiC bride and an LCC groom make for a mixed marriage.


10. Lutherans feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.


11. Lutherans are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.


12. Lutherans think that Garrison Keeler stories are totally factual.


13. Lutherans still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and think that peas in a tuna noodle casserole adds too much color.


14. Lutherans believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously.


And finally, you know you're a Lutheran when: It's 100 degrees Fahrenheit, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service. Not to mention that all of your relatives graduated from a school named Concordia.


Give me a sense of humor, Lord,

Give me the grace to see a joke,

To get some humor out of life,

And pass it on to other folk


For more jokes see: